A few tips to make your Maui trip more enjoyable

I would recomend you on renting a car and so drive the Road to Hana. Stop and buy a bunch of CDs at the town just before the road starts. It is a guided tour that prompts you when to start and stop the cd.

Nothing drives very fast on the winding road to Hana, least of all tour buses whose purpose is to show it.

Consider some cool Maui Vacation Rental which can help you save the extra buck. There are great beaches in Kaanapali and great eating and shopping too. Wailea has it all too, but it is very upscale and expensive. Kihei has condos and places to eat and shop right along the main road (south side). Again, depending on where you are staying, recommendations will vary.

While you don't want to be some tourist, you are in fact a visitor and because of that you will likely enjoy seeing the same attractions that "tourists" visit -- like Haleakala at sunrise, a Trilogy snorkel trip to Molokini or Lanai, a day looking around in Lahaina Town, and perhaps an Excursions ferry trip to Lanai since you want to do something non-tourist like.

The places where no one seems to go are likely empty for a reason. It sounds like you need a great tour book. Try Maui Revealed. It is terrific and it takes in the whole island and all kinds of things to see and do at all budget levels.